One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
