I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
