Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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