I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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