do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
