I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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