your thong is hanging out like whoa
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
