Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
jump out the window naked night went bad
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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