How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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