I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have already put on my inside pants.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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