the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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