Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
