he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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