considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
