Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
