Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
