Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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