Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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