The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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