id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
