Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
