Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
