I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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