I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
