I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
