I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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