areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
