he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
