I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
