You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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