When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize