He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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