Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
