Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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