rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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