After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
