I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
