Quick, to the slutcave!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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