none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
