Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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