How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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