He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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