You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
is it fun? or sober?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
