I want to have your abortion
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
