my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
