Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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