I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
