Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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