im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
