And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
