I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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