I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
