"it" just moved
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
