and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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