im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
